I hate this part.

I hate it when everything seems to be going along fine and suddenly I'm blindsided by some new tragedy so fierce I can scarcely breathe. The kind of event that leaves you perched on the edge of your bed rocking back and forth for ten minutes before you notice what you're doing, thinking, "How am I going to get through this?" What's "this"? "This" is the loss of a loved one, devastating test results, some disappointment too profound for words, some injustice so blatant it makes you physically ill, the loss of health, livelihood, home, life, family, marriage or a child...

Oh sure, I've thought that before about other events that have taken place in my life, and I've obviously made it through so far, so much the worse for wear but more or less intact. But I can't seem to trust precedent any more than I can trust God. I hate the parts of my life where all I have left—all I have to do—is trust God. How sinful is that?? Pretty d***, I'd say. Which comes as no surprise to God.

So God takes the sin away through my baptism into Christ's sacrifice, and now, although I am still certainly a sinner, I am also a saint. And ever so very slowly, I begin to see that all I have to do is trust God. That's all I CAN DO, that's true, and that fact leaves me vulnerable and helpless and afraid and endlessly anxious. But mercifully, it's also all I NEED TO DO. And that fact leaves me right where I ought to be: frightened but faithful. Simultaneously sinner and saint.

In honor of the 495th anniversary of the Reformation, it's only fitting that I quote Martin Luther's statement of both unimaginable power and helplessness, the very same statement I utter today in less heroic circumstances but with a resolute shrug nonetheless: "HERE I STAND. I CAN DO NO OTHER, SO HELP ME GOD. AMEN."

"WE are NOT OF those wHo ShRiNK BACk and are dEstRoYeD, BUT of those who HAVE fAiTH and preserve tHeir SOULS."

(Hebrews 10:39)

Suggested verse to repeat if it's a difficult day is from Hebrews 10:39b

Pain Rehab buddies, remember to breathe!

"We are those -------> 5 count inhale

who have faith." -------> 5 count exhale

Empty Nets

"When Jesus had finished speaking, He said to Simon, "Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch." And Simon answered, "Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at Your word I will let down the nets." And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking." (Luke 5:4-6)

Simon-Peter heard the words of the Lord, and he responded with the typical, “Yeah, but," that comes to all our minds. Yeah, Lord, I get it, but that didn't work the first 97 times I tried it.

We don't get it. We, like Simon-Peter, know what the day will very likely bring when we open our eyes in the morning: pain, financial trouble, a long day at a job we don't like, another argument, illness, worry, grief, disappointment, loneliness, fear, memories you’d rather forget, or some other horrible tragedy you've only dreamed about. Yeah God, You promised to love me, but...

...but Simon let down his nets anyway.

Sometimes our nets are overflowing, and sometimes they're painfully empty. At Jesus’ Word, at His promise of love unyielding even though you can’t see it and even though you doubt its existence from time to time, be like Simon and let down your nets anyway. TRUST. Know that at the very least one day, and for eternity, you will reel them in so full they'll be bursting. Not for your sake, not for your choice or your perseverance, and not as some reward that you would have earned by anything you did or even believed, but because of Jesus' love for you.

Until that day, treasure the few fish that swim into your nets

and ask God for the strength to go fishing for a few more.

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our WEAKNESS. For we do not know what to PrAy for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes FOR US with GroaninGs too deep for words. And He who SEARCHES HearTs knows what is the minD of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the WILL of God. And WE KNOW that for those who LOVE GOD all things work together for Good, for those who are CALLED according to His purpose." (Romans 8:26-28)

*

Suggested verse to repeat to yourself if it's a difficult day comes from Luke 9:23

PRC buddies, remember to breathe!

"Take up your cross -------> inhale 5 counts

and follow Me." -------> exhale 5 counts
*

The Enigma of Job #2

“Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man! I will question you, and you will answer ME! Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?!” (Job 38:3-4a)

Poor Job. In the middle of his demands to talk to God face to face and plead his case of innocence, God actually showed up. Can you imagine? If God actually showed up every time I demanded answers from Him... *shudder* ...I don't even want to think about it. And boy, was God ever angry.

Don't get Him wrong: it wasn't Job's lamenting of, "This hurts! I can't do this! Please take the pain away!" that got to God. We're invited to "by prayer and supplication make our requests known to God" (Philippians 4:6b). No, it was the whining of, "I don't deserve this," and "God's wrong for doing this to me," that necessitated an intervention. We can see Job's point, can't we? His suffering was the product of a bet between God and Satan. How much less deserving can you get that that? I've been driven to that same point once or twice. It's a natural(ly sinful) place for our hearts and minds to go when we're bombarded with bad luck, hardships, and suffering: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??? NOTHING!!!

...um, everything? Job's assumption that he was blameless was a sin. No one is righteous apart from Christ. Me? Oh, I'm certainly not assuming I'm anywhere near blameless, believe me, but am I really this much to blame? Well, yeah. On the one hand, we all deserve suffering, and to what degree is notwithstanding: "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 2:23). But on the other and more important hand, what we deserve isn't the point. And thank God for that. God is not punishing us. He doesn't work that way because Jesus died for the sin of the world and the sins of everyone in it. God wasn't punishing Job. On the contrary, Job got a much-needed chance to repent, and repent he did. He realized that he needed a savior just as much as the next guy (see The Enigma of Job #1). But that wasn't the only point to Job's suffering.

Pierre-Paul Prud'hon 
"Crucifixion"
1822

Do you think Job—all covered in boils and ashes and being yelled at by God—ever dreamed he'd be in the Bible? But he is. He's part of that beautiful Means of Grace and a comfort throughout the ages. And of course, there is Jesus: the number one point to all suffering everywhere. Yes, Jesus died for Job, too. (We can get into the whole retro-activity of the crucifixion, which occurred both within time and outside of time some other... er time). That means Jesus took on Job's suffering, and Job then participated in a small part of Jesus' suffering in his trials.

I don't know what our individual lessons are or if there are any. I really don't, but I do know that God promises our suffering isn't for nothing. No, none of us will end up in the Bible: that's already been written from beginning to end. But God knows what comfort, what hope, what peace we can bring when people look at us in our sorry states and we simply point to the cross, and we know it too. So, maybe the chance to repent isn't the point for you. Maybe your suffering has nothing to do with you. Maybe your hardship is for the sake of someone else altogether, for a purpose greater than you can even imagine.

Suggested verse to repeat if it's a difficult day is Psalm 119:169b

PRC buddies, remember to breathe!

"Give me understanding -------> 5 count inhale

according to Your Word." -------> 5 count exhale

For more on Job, click here.

A Rock So Heavy

"For the sake of CHRIST, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:10)

Could God make a rock so heavy that He Himself could not lift it? We've all heard that question before. We've all probably asked it at one time or another, or at least pondered it. I know I have. Why, it even has its own officially mysterious name: the omnipotence paradox. What we're really asking with that infamous philosophical quandary is, “Is God so powerful that He can limit His own power?” 

Yes. Yes, He is. He did. He died.

Once Christ took on human form, fully God and fully man, there were a whole bunch of rocks all over the place that He couldn't lift. But when we ask that question, we picture this giant rock floating around in space, dwarfing everything around it—even God—that no one can ever move. We're picturing it wrong.

Yes, the Son of God made Himself so weak that He couldn't lift boulders, but that didn't limit His power. On the contrary, His decision to limit Himself unto death made His power manifest so that the entire world shook to its very core. (Matthew 27:45-56)

That fact leads me to believe that maybe the limitations He gives us—physically, financially or what-else-have-you—aren't so limiting after all. The ability to lift giant rocks was never important, and neither are any of the things my illness keeps me from doing. Sure, it keeps me from doing things I like, and even things I would mistakenly deem as necessary, but it doesn't keep me from God. In fact, I think it might have brought me a bit closer to Him. Eventually.

Limitations getting to you? Stop picturing strength as the ability to lift rocks and remember: Jesus could have saved Himself. He didn't. He saved us instead. Some call that weak. We know it's power.

Suggested verse to repeat if it's a difficult day is from 2 Corinthians 12:9a

PRC buddies, remember to breathe!

“My power is made perfect -------> 5 count inhale

in weakness.” -------> 5 count exhale

Hard Sayings

Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day." When many of His disciples heard it, they said, "This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?"

But Jesus, knowing in Himself that His disciples were grumbling about this, said to them, "Do you take offense at this? Then what if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where He was before? It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. But there are some of you who do not believe."

For Jesus knew from the beginning who those were who did not believe, and who it was who would betray Him. After this many of His disciples turned back and no longer walked with Him. So Jesus said to the Twelve, "Do you want to go away as well?" Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God." (from John 6:35-71)

*  *  *

Jesus was not surprised that some many of His disciples left Him, and that so many leave Him still. He knew good and well how offensive He was, and is. He warned His disciples that not everyone would believe the Word of God.  And let's face it: it's a hard thing to believe. God created the world in 6 days. The whole world in six 24hr periods of time. Then He flooded it. He killed everything that couldn't swim or fit on Noah's ark because Adam and Eve ate the one thing they were told not to eat. As the result of that offense, God condemned the whole world and everyone in it so that now everybody gets sick and everybody dies.

by Francisco de Zurbaran 1650

And this is the hardest saying of all: God wanted the mess to be made right even though we hate(d) Him, and so the Holy One of God, the King of kings, the Son of God and the Son of Man, chose to die for our sins, for the sins of the very people who turned against Him, out of love.

The King of kings was born in a trough? The Son of God lived as the son of a carpenter? The Messiah saved us by dying like a common thief to make up for my sins and the sin of the world? THIS is God? Who can listen to it?? How ridiculous! How preposterous! How unreasonable! How... absolutely breathtakingly wonderful.

Regardless of who listens and who doesn't, Jesus will come again to judge the living and the dead, and on that day, He will raise all of us from the dead, some to eternal life and some to eternal death because some will have believed and some won't have. For the some that won't, there will be nothing more that we can do. God knows who they are; He's always known. But you and I don't know who they are, and so we have to try. We have to keep spreading the Word of God to all nations, no matter how difficult it is for some to believe because it is the truth, and their life depends on it.

Yeah sure, it'd be a whole lot easier to stop following Jesus and turn around like many of His disciples. But we're called to trust God, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, we do. Not perfectly—I know that I still wonder about a lot of things—but we believe enough to eat of Jesus' flesh, and we have heard His Word, and we have been Baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

From what Scripture tells us, because of that thing Jesus did that's so hard to believe, that's enough.

Suggested verse to repeat is from Psalm 39:12b

PRC buddies, remember to breathe!

"I am a sojourner with You; ------> 5 count inhale

"I am a sojourner with You." ------->  5 count exhale

The Earth Giving Way

"GOD is our refuge and strength, 

a very present help in trouble. 

Therefore we will not fear

though the earth gives way; 

though the mountains be moved

into the heart of the sea."
(Psalm 46:1-2)

Ah, today. Maybe today is another day when your back will hurt or your stomach will ache. Maybe it's another day of hard work where you'll feel under-appreciated, overworked, and overwhelmed, or another day to miss your husband, your child, your mom or dad. Maybe it's another day of chemotherapy or another surgery to endure, or another day when you have to take more medicine that you know will make you sick. Guess which day I'm having. Remicade: the bi-monthly 5hr-long infusion that keeps my disease more in check than not. Kind of. I love the stuff, but man oh man, do I ever hate it. It's equally effective and intolerable.

I don't know about you, but for me, trust is hard work. It's an awful lot like love that way. It's difficult to see the refuge of God through the dark haze of grief and discomfort and all the you-just-don't-have-a-choice's. Sometimes it feels like the earth is giving way right under my feet, and God is nowhere to be seen.

Well, we can't all wait for a bolt of lightning to knock us to the ground with the blinding reality of the presence of God. In our sinful world, and with our imperfect eyes, we have to know where to look. Pick up the Bible and read it. Get up and go to church. Talk to your pastor who stands in the stead and by the command of Christ: confess and be absolved, receive the Eucharist: the true body and true blood of our Lord and Savior. Make a point to remember you're baptized and cross your self. Sit down and pray. Sing or listen to those beautiful hymns composed by people just like you who were trying to make it through another day without losing sight of the refuge of God.

"Therefore since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the Founder and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:1-2)

Everyone knows what happens if we don't work to strengthen our endurance: it disappears. We have to actively trust God because being a Christian does not by any stretch of the imagination mean living an easy life. God promises us both trouble and salvation. One is temporary and the other is eternal. Make no mistake" the earth will continue to give way underneath our exhausted feet as long as we are live. But even on our worst days when the mountains crumble into the sea--literally or figuratively--God is our refuge and strength, our very present help in the time of trouble.

We still have to RUN the race, yes, but Jesus has already WON it for us through His loving sacrifice. One day, God's voice will boom through the clouds more sweetly than that of a thousand angels' and literally melt the earth. And on that day, because Jesus died for you, God the Father will finally say to Satan, "Enough! Leave my child alone." And Satan, defeated long ago at Calvary, will have no choice but to obey. In the meantime, fight the good fight for Jesus' sake and do your best. Use His gifts to increase your endurance. After all, a love strong enough to die for ought to be strong enough to live for.

Suggested verse to repeat if it's a difficult day is from Psalm 46:10a

PRC buddies, remember to breathe!

"Be still -------> 5 count inhale

and know that I am God." -------> 5 count exhale

Click here for more on PEACE.

What Good?

"Likewise, the SPiriT helps us in our wEaKness. For we do not know wHat to PraY for as we ouGht, but the SpiRit HiMseLF intercedes for us with Groanings too deep for words. And he who searcHes hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit inTerceDes for the saints accoRding to the will of God. And we know that for those who LovE God, all things work together for Good, for those who are CALLED according to His Purpose." (Romans 8:26-28)

Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting

I worked in a hospital as a deaconess before I got sick. I've been privy to situations too terrible to recount, much less understand, and I've been asked to pray in the middle of them. Most of the time, I had no idea what to say. What can you say during the worst moment of someone's life except, “Help us, O Lord?” Thankfully, the Holy Spirit fills in the rest on our behalf.

I can't imagine a worse pain than watching your child take his or her last breath, and yet I've watched dozens of Moms and Dads do just that. Their strength astonishes me. Surely, God is there. He must be there in all His love and understanding, otherwise how could anyone ever live through that moment? Groanings too deep for words. 

I've got to wonder as I read Romans 8 in light of our nation's newest and arguably most horrific tragedy, the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, what good can possibly come from this? Tighter security to save more lives in the future? Psychological research that does the same? Organ donations? Sure, all of that's true enough, and it's all good, but IT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. No amount of lives saved or lessons learned will ever make up for the loss of so much as one beautiful life. Not to a mother, and not to God. God doesn't work that way, and neither do we.

God promises us that no death, no trial, no turmoil of ours or anyone else's is ever in vain. Some good comes from it, some we understand, and some we don't. But He never promises that the good will outweigh the bad. Our hearts won't heal—not completely—until we see our children again, our parents, our brothers and sisters, our husbands and wives, and our friends. And through Christ, one day we will. Until then, the Holy Spirit knows our broken hearts, and He intercedes on our behalf, with groanings too deep for words.

Today, find solace in the good those precious, short lives—all of them—brought to this fallen world that needed them so badly, and find peace in the good Christ did for the beautiful souls who lived those short lives. Know that when we weep, Jesus wept with us, and know that God uses everything for good, no matter how terrible it is, no matter how much He'd rather it not happen, because nothing His children endure is ever wasted.

In the end, all tragedies will be made right because Jesus died for that. Those who lost their lives, those who lost their children, will be vindicated with all the wrath and all the love of God, who gave His own Son up to violence for them. For us. Amen.

Suggested verse to repeat to yourself if it's a difficult day comes from Romans 8:37

PRC buddies, remember to breathe!
"We are more than conquerors -------> 5 count inhale
through Him who loved us -------> 5 count exhale

deaconess [dee-kun-nis] noun

1) A woman belonging to an order or sisterhood dedicated to the care of the sick or poor, or who is engaging in other social service duties, life teaching and missionary work.

2) A woman called by a church to assist the congregation in works of service.

Praying for Rain & Other Things

Jesus withdrew from them about a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” And there appeared to Him an angel from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in an agony He prayed more earnestly; and His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. (Luke 22:41-44)

George Seurat "A Woman Seated" 1883

So, what is prayer anyway? Is it the means by which we change God's mind? Is it begging done out of desperation? Is it praise? Is it worship? Is it futile?

Our lives can seem hopelessly fatalistic when it comes to God's plan for us. He is totally in control, which is as comforting a thought as it is frightening (Hebrews 10:31). Meanwhile back at the ranch, we are both commanded to pray and invited to (1 Thessalonians 5:17; Philippians 4:6). No, we don't have the power to change God's mind, and no, we aren't bringing His attention to something He hasn't already noticed, and no, it's not futile.

Prayer is begging and worship and praise. We have the gift of letting God know what we think we need and how badly we're suffering, of crying out to Him in desperation, AND of being heard; all the while praising His goodness and acknowledging that He is the only One who knows what we really need, and that we trust He will provide it.

And so we add a very important statement to each of our prayers, the same statement Christ added to His prayer in Gethsemane when He asked His father to spare Him from the cross: "Nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done." (Luke 22:42) God's will is not always ours, hence the scary part.

C.S. Lewis

After His prayer, Jesus was left to suffer on that cross--willingly--for our sake. There was simply no other way. But that wasn't the end of God's answer to His Son's prayer. God sent an angel to strengthen Jesus in His agony (Luke 22:43). And God will do the same for each of His children when there is simply no other way because Jesus was left to suffer on that cross. Because of Jesus' suffering and death and resurrection, God never, ever tells us just plain "no."

Prayer, like everything else we are called to do in God's name, is an act of faith. Dear Father, I don't think I can live without this... Nevertheless...

Suggested verse to repeat if it's a difficult day comes from Psalm 116:2a:

Pain Rehab buddies, remember to breathe!

"He inclined His ear -------> 5 count inhale

to hear me." -------> 5 count exhale

For more on PRAYER, read "Divine Wac-a-Mole."

LORD, If You Had Been Here

"Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw Him, she fell at His feet, saying to Him, "LORD, if You had been here, my brother would not have died."  When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in His spirit and greatly troubled.

And He said, "Where have you laid him?" They said to Him, "LORD, come and see." Jesus wept. So the Jews said, "See how He loved him!" But some of them said, "Could NOT HE who opened the eyes of the blind man also have KEPT this man from dying?" (John 11:32-37)

* * *

"LORD, if You had been here..." How many of us have thought that very same thing? Of course, Jesus is there, always present with us. And we still get sick, and we still get hurt, and we still die. We still weep. So did Jesus. The fact that Jesus wept at His friend's death gives me enormous comfort. Jesus knew without any shadow of any doubt at all that in literally a few minutes, He would raise Lazarus from the dead Himself. Jesus knew He would talk to His friend again, that Lazarus' family would be with him again, that their pain would end, and still, He was moved to the point of tears.

Sometimes I wonder, with all my education and Christianity and whatnot, why am I so bitterly sad if I believe in heaven? If I know my salvation is secure? Am I a bad Christian? Do I doubt Jesus' love? Do I doubt that any of this ever really happened? Sometimes, sure, to a point. I'm not perfect after all, and neither is my faith, no matter how many books I read and prayers I say. But what Jesus' weeping at Lazarus' death shows us is that we are so bitterly sad because it simply HURTS. Period.

What's "it"? It is sin. Sin and all its consequences. Death hurts. Sickness hurts. Life hurts. Living here in this fallen world when we belong in heaven hurts us so powerfully that even with absolute, perfect certainty of the Resurrection of the Dead and the Life of the World to come, even with complete control over life and death, none of us―not even Christ Himself―can help but weep.

Strangely enough, permission to feel sadness in the midst of my joyful salvation leads my spirit to be less troubled, and my tears to be less bitter. It's not always the sinful, selfish side of us that's weeping for the death of someone we love more than our own life, or that weeps for our own pain and illness and misfortune. We weep for the same reason Jesus wept: because we are painfully aware that things are other than they ought to be. But not for long.

Our hearts are able to break because we are able to love. We are able to love because God loved us first (1 Jon 4:19). These fragile hearts of ours are a gift. It's sin that breaks them, and it's God who binds them up again. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted because He WAS the brokenhearted. Follow Jesus' example: be moved to tears... for now.

Suggested verse to repeat to yourself if it's a difficult day is Psalm 34:18a

PRC buddies, remember to breathe!

“The LORD is near -------> 5 count inhale

to the brokenhearted.” -------> 5 count exhale

So, whatever is lovely?

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:6-8, 12-13)

* * *

I think it's safe to say that we know how to be brought low. No matter what our age or what our physical condition, life is just plain hard, and our physical conditions do not help. So today I ask you, do you know how to abound?

Oh, that positive thinking they taught us at PRC. That silly action I thought was a waste of time when I first started that program. And to think St. Paul has been telling us to do the exact same thing for nearly two thousand years. I am going to be in pain for the rest of my life. I am missing out on so much, and I am upset about it. I'm sad, and I am angry. Those feelings can't be reasoned away: they are totally reasonable responses to a totally unreasonable situation. I am never not going to be sad about my condition. The trick is not to dwell on it.

Yeah, okay great. How? What's the "secret of facing abundance and need?"

On those “difficult days" when I can find fault with a bowl of chocolate ice cream and sprinkles, there is always JESUS. Whatever else is honorable, just, pure, and lovely that I can't see on those darkest of days, it does not compare to the fact that the Son of God loves me, and He died for me. A few minutes dwelling on that fact, and suddenly, the world that I hate so much, that world that hates me right back, that world God loved so much He sent His one and only Son, doesn't seem so bad anymore. After all, we have each other, don't we? Never let it be said that God doesn't toss His people life rafts in our stormy seas.

Repeat after me: “Yes, I am in pain, AND...” Fill in the blank with whatever is lovely, starting with "Jesus loves me."

Suggested verse to repeat when having a severe case of the dwells is Philippians 4:13
PRC buddies, remember to breathe!

“I can do all things -------> 5 count inhale

through Him who strengthens me.” -------> 5 count exhale

Strong Enough to Be Weak

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the LORD about this, that it should leave me. But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." 
 

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

There was a young man in his early twenties. He was in great shape. He ran marathons and triathlons. He traveled through Europe mostly on foot. He was going to graduate from college with a physical education degree, and he was going to get married later that year. He was working construction for the summer, and he fell twenty feet from a roof. They had to amputate both of his legs at the knees. He wanted to kill himself, and that’s why they called me.

You want a challenge? Try living the rest of your life without legs. Nothing, NOTHING takes more strength than being weak. Nothing takes more strength than asking for help, than not being who you once were, than letting someone help you use the bathroom, change your sheets, bathe you, feed you, clothe you, clean up after you. We want to be rescued from our weaknesses. We hate them. We hate ourselves for having them. We work hard to get rid of them. We don’t want to live the rest of our lives in a wheelchair. We don't want to live the rest of our lives in pain, unable to work, unable to have children. We don’t want anyone to help us use the bathroom or bathe us. We don’t want to feel ill; we don’t want to die; we don’t want to miss our loved ones who have died.

We aren't strong enough to be weak.

But one man was. Jesus had the means to save Himself from death. He is the Son of God, after all. He could've smote the whole lot of soldiers and Pharisees alike who wanted Him dead with a single word. He could have called for an army of angels to rescue Him from His cruel fate with ferocity. He could have lifted Himself from that cross at any moment and not died. But He did die. The greatest act of strength in the world was also the greatest act of weakness.

Jesus has perfect courage. He didn't give into any of the selfish qualities we have that would tempt us to avoid His same fate. His love is perfect. That's why He didn't back down from the cup that was given to Him: YOU are why. He loves you so much, so perfectly, so completely that He willingly endured unbelievable suffering to the point of being forsaken by His Father so that you would never be forsaken.

Because He was strong enough to be weak for you, you are strong enough to be weak for Him. Forget the world where "strong" means that you can lift 50lbs or run a mile, and live in His world where strength is living with your weakness, really living. Life is hard, but you cannot fail no matter how bad it gets. He’s won the war for you. God’s grace is sufficient. Jesus’ love is perfect.

Suggest verse to repeat to yourself if it's a difficult day is from 2 Corinthians 12:9b

PRC buddies, remember to breathe!

“Power is made perfect -------> inhale 5 counts

in weakness.” -------> exhale 5 counts

For France: Was Jesus Asleep in the Stern?

"A Great windstorm arose, and the waves were BREAKING into the boat, so that the boat was already fillinG. But Jesus was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they WOKE Him & said to Him, "Teacher, do you not CARE that we are perishing?!" And He awoke & REBUKED the wind & said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceaseD, and there was A GreaT caLm. Jesus said to them, "WHY are you so AFRAID? Have you STILL no FaiTH?" (Mark 4:37-40)

* * *

This story holds immense comfort for me for several reasons. 

1. The disciples saw all Jesus' miracles up to this point first hand. They'd heard Him preach. They should have known better than anyone who He was and what He could do. But still, they were afraid. 
2. Their Savior was asleep in the stern, seemingly apathetic towards their desperate situation. Knowing that Jesus was present with them wasn't enough reason for them not to be afraid. 
3. They sound angry in their panic as they demand, “Do You not care that we are perishing?!” 
4. Jesus calmed the storm with a word (well, three words) in spite of their doubt. 
5. He “rebuked the wind” as if the wind was doing something wrong.

This is me on all points. Nope, I'm not in a boat on a stormy sea, but metaphorically... well, aren't we all? And no, frankly, knowing intellectually that God is there with me isn't enough. At least not all the time. I still get angry. I still panic. I'm still scared. And sometimes I still feel like shaking Jesus by the shoulders to wake Him up, shouting, “DON'T YOU CARE THAT PEOPLE ARE DYING?!?!” And what's His response? Is it," You've doubted me one time too many, kid, you're on your own."

NO.
Jesus keeps saying, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?”

Only I picture Him saying it with a smile: a knowing, hopeful, understanding smile. "Come on, Megan. I died for you and for those you love, so that we could be in Paradise together forever. Of course I care." There is no one in heaven or on earth—Grandmas and Moms included—who cares more about the fact that we are perishing. (My dear French brothers and sisters, can you hear me?) Jesus, fully God Himself, suffered just so that we wouldn't have to perish forever. He knows our doubt and our windstorms and bullet-storms and storms of so-called "medical-procedures and rights" that erase life as though it never even existed: He's lived them. He's borne them as His very own and even allowed worse to happen to Himself (Psalm 22). He is always present and He is always caring (Matthew 28:20; Deuteronomy 31:6).

He does more than just tell us to take heart, to have courage:

He gives us that courage. 

(2 Corinthians 4:16; Philippians 4:13; Colossians 1:11)

I don't know why I'm still so afraid sometimes. Why the news makes my heart stop, the tears fall, and the hopelessness creep in. I suppose it has something to do with being both saint and sinner, but I do know that Jesus will continue to remind me who God is, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, over and over again and again and again, as many times as I need reminding. Never once does God promise us a life without storms, but He does promise us salvation through Christ. He promises us His undying love. He promises us mercy, life everlasting, and His presence with us. We have it now in the midst of our own storms, in our own rickety little boats. 

No, that fact doesn't make the waves any smaller,
but it sure makes facing them a whole lot easier.

Jesus will still that storm around you someday. He'll rebuke it for terrorizing you, and He'll take you up to heaven with Him, and all that is wrong will be made right. Until then, some days it feels like He's asleep in the stern, unaware of what you are going through, apathetic to your plight: "Do you not care that I am dying right here in front of Your eyes?!?" Satan is very good at helping us mix up what is REAL with what we FEEL. But the fact is, Jesus is there. Every bad day. Every sleepless hour. Every painful minute. Every unthinkable tragedy. Every war. Not stopping it, no, He does not save us in the way wish He would, but He promises with His help, we will make it through the darkness—beaten up, but not defeated (Ephesians 6:10-20; 2 Corinthians 4:7-12). You will not drown in the wild waters of life on earth. That's a fact. Jesus is in your boat, asleep or no, and that is all it takes (1 Peter 3:18-22).

So, why am I so so afraid, silly sinful girl that I am, whom Jesus loves more than His own life? He, together with the Father and the Holy Spirit, laid the foundation of the earth. He's called us each by name, and we are His. The wind and seas obey Him & He's decided to love US. Thanks be to God.

*

"We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed;

perplexed, but not driven to despair;

persecuted, but not forsaken; 

struck down, but not destroyed." 

(2 Corinthians 4:8-9)

*

Suggested verse to repeat to yourself when it feels like Jesus is asleep in the stern:

Psalm46:2a

PRC buddies, remember to breathe!

“We will not fear -------> 5 count inhale

though the earth gives way.” -------> 5 count exhale

Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod
PRAYER for FRANCE
*
Father of all mercy, God of peace, look in compassion upon the people of France, and particularly those who have lost loved ones in the recent terrorist attacks. Grant to them the comfort that comes from Your Son's victory over death. Heal the injured and bless those who provide them care. Give to the government officials Your wise counsel that they may protect their people. Grant that those who have perpetrated this slaughter may be brought to justice, and grant them the gift of repentance. We ask these things in the name of Him who knew in His own body the damage of those who thought they served You with violence and hatred, even Jesus Christ, whose death has atoned the sin of all and whose Resurrection is our constant and only hope. Amen.
*
Nos prières ce soir sont avec la peuple de Paris, traumatiser une deuxième fois cette année par des actes de terreur. Que la voix du Christ, le Prince de Paix, soit entendu dans les arrondissements du capitale français dans les jours qui suivent.