Yeah, I know worrying and self-centered rumination doesn't actually do any good, but I can't turn it off, so kindly quit telling me to do the impossible and focus on something constructive: How do I find peace in these, literally the darkest of moments?? I don't. It's given to me.
"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." (John 14:27)Peace, He leaves with us. And peace leaves us, too. But His peace—the peace He GIVES to us—remains even when our worldly peace cowers in the face of chaos and unrest. The peace He earned for us, the peace that was bought with such a heavy price, will not falter. Stop looking for peace. You'll never ever find it. Peace, like sleep, isn't something to be "caught." It's a gift, so start receiving it. You'll never ever lose it.
In this particular frame of stained glass, Jesus too seems lost in His own sad thoughts while the world goes on around Him. But still, He was at peace. Peace in spite of the knowledge that He must suffer horribly and die like a criminal at the hands of those He loves more than His own life... because He knew what He was doing was right.
Peace in spite of the knowledge that I must always hurt... true peace because I know what He did. I worry about a lot of things at 3AM, it's true, but I don't worry about my salvation. And what else matters, in big sleepless scheme of things? Even if all my worst "what ifs" come true at once, I am at peace.
Here's Stile Antico performing the medieval chant by William Byrd, "Miserere Mihi, Domine; Miserere Nostri, Domine," "Have Mercy on Me, O LORD; Have Mercy on Us."
Suggested verse to repeat if it's a sleepless night:
PRC buddies, remember to breathe!
"Have mercy on me, -------> 5 count inhale
O LORD." -------> 5 count exhale