Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Heal ME

"The Raising of Jarius' Daughter"
Edwin Long, 1889
"Peter said to the beggar, "I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!" And Peter took the beggar by the right hand and raised him up, and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong... And Peter said, "His name—by faith in His name—has made this man strong whom you see and know, and the faith that is through Jesus has given the man this perfect health in the presence of you all." (Acts 3:6-7, 16)
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Oh, that this would happen to us! That a man could lay his hands on us in the name of Jesus and our afflictions would heal. Yeah. Right. Have you ever felt like screaming, "I go to church! I pray! I worship! I fear! I love! I BELIEVE! Why don’t You heal me?! Why don’t You heal my husband?! My child?!" I've screamed it. Literally.

What, am I not loud enough? Don't I have the words right? I can scream it all I want. God doesn't owe me anything. It wasn't this beggar’s desire that won him healing; it wasn't that he prayed harder than you or I do, or that he needed to be healed more than you or I do, or that he had more faith in God than you or I do. This man did nothing to heal himself. Peter says, "His name—by faith in His name—has made this man strong." Jesus’ name.

We beg God to let our hurtful cups pass from us just like Jesus did in Gethsemane. He invites us to. However, Jesus was left on a cross to suffer, and occasionally, so are we. Jesus died despite His prayer, and so do we. You see, in that same garden, our LORD also prayed that God’s will be done. Yikes. That's a tougher one, because I've been feeling God's will for about five years now, and frankly, I don't much care for it.

Or do I? … I thank God that His will was to sacrifice His Son for my sake, or these momentary afflictions of mine—lifelong though they are—would never end, not even in death. Maybe God knows a little more about what's good and necessary than I do. I keep confusing those ideas with comfortable and pleasant.

Okay, but why heal the beggar and not me? I don't know. I guess there's more good coming from that beggar's healing than if he'd stayed lame. I guess there's more good coming from my staying lame. I don't know what that good is exactly, but I do know the bad is only temporary. I will walk—all of us will walk—with that beggar because God's will was done despite being asked to do otherwise.

So, I keep praying. And yes, I keep begging to be healed. I keep believing that I will be healed one day, albeit likely not until death. I keep trusting that if I'm not healed until my last breath is spent in the world, a meaning greater than myself, greater than my hurting and greater than my need to be well, is at work.

Suggested verse to repeat to yourself if it's a difficult day Psalm 46:1
Pain Rehab buddies, remember to breathe!
God is my refuge and strength; ----------> 5 counts inhale
a very present help in trouble.” ----------> 5 counts exhale


  1. Beautiful, Megan. I'm sharing this.
    Love, Mel

  2. Thank you for sharing. I also suffer from an autoimmune disease that causes chronic inflammation to my bowels and all sorts of food intolerances. Many times I feel myself tested to the extreme. No answer yet, but I will keep trustimg Him. Thank you Lord for your tender mercies.h

  3. I believe you my dear, but still i know there is much dimension of understanding to that mystery, its possible that we pray and not get healed many times. Paul wasn't bedfast, he was up on his feet preaching the gospel and exhorting the saints with letters, i believe if any pain uniquely for someone, it is for a deep reason, that will manifest in season later, howbeit He is nearer in times of pain and He's moved with the feeling of our infirmities and was in all points tempted like us, but yet without sin, James 1:3, II Corinthians 10:13, Hebrews 2:13 Paul said, He won't allow us to be tempted more than we can bear, and God knows our frailty, He remembers that we are dust, Psalm 103:14 and so such pains bring a deep refreshing dimensions of revelations to our spirit, such that when we are alleviated from our pains, we preach a deeper gospel of His love, I believe my dear, God is doing a great thing in these last days, and the greatest works are unfolded in deeper dimension of healing and restoration, restoring broken relationships, restoring family values, restoring His people, Ezekiel 37 is a revelation of that agenda. God seeks to raise an army who have had dealings with Him several and will be able to administer healing to the lost, bereaved and wounded, there is a greater wisdom God in our various experiences, a wise man once said, the broken are masters at mending