 |
| "The Raising of Jarius' Daughter" Edwin Long, 1889 |
"Peter
said to the beggar, "I have no silver and gold, but what I do
have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up
and walk!" And Peter took the beggar by the right hand and
raised him up, and immediately his feet and ankles were made
strong... And Peter said, "His name—by faith in His name—has
made this man strong whom you see and know, and the faith that is
through Jesus has given the man this perfect health in the presence
of you all." (Acts
3:6-7, 16)
* * *
Oh,
that this would happen to us! That a man could lay his hands on us in
the name of Jesus and our afflictions would heal. Yeah. Right. Have
you ever felt like screaming, "I go to church! I pray! I worship! I
fear! I love! I
BELIEVE!
Why don’t You heal me?! Why don’t You heal my husband?! My
child?!" I've screamed it. Literally.
What,
am I not loud enough? Don't I have the words right? I can scream it
all I want. God doesn't owe me anything. It wasn't this beggar’s desire that won him healing; it
wasn't that he prayed harder than you or I do, or that he needed to
be healed more than you or I do, or that he had more faith in God
than you or I do. This man did nothing to heal himself. Peter says, "His
name—by faith in His name—has made this man strong." Jesus’ name.
We
beg God to let our hurtful cups pass from us just like Jesus did in
Gethsemane. He invites us to. However, Jesus was left on a cross to
suffer, and occasionally, so are we. Jesus died despite His prayer,
and so do we. You see, in that same garden, our LORD also prayed that
God’s will be done. Yikes. That's a tougher one, because I've been
feeling God's will for about five years now, and frankly, I don't
much care for it.
Or
do I? … I thank God that His will was to sacrifice His Son for my
sake, or these momentary afflictions of mine—lifelong though they
are—would never end, not even in death. Maybe God knows a little
more about what's good
and necessary
than I do. I keep confusing those ideas with comfortable
and pleasant.
Okay,
but why heal the beggar and not me? I don't know. I guess there's
more good coming from that beggar's healing than if he'd stayed lame.
I guess there's more good coming from my staying lame. I don't know
what that good is exactly, but I do know the bad is only temporary.
I will walk—all of us will walk—with that beggar because God's
will was done despite being asked to do otherwise.
So,
I keep praying. And yes, I keep begging to be healed. I keep
believing that I will be healed one day, albeit likely not until
death. I keep trusting that if I'm not healed until my last breath is
spent in the world, a meaning greater than myself, greater than my
hurting and greater than my need to be well, is at work.
Suggested
verse to repeat to yourself if it's a difficult day Psalm 46:1
Pain Rehab buddies, remember to breathe!
“God
is my refuge and strength; ---------->
5 counts inhale
a
very present help in trouble.” ---------->
5 counts exhale
Beautiful, Megan. I'm sharing this.
ReplyDeleteLove, Mel
Thank you for sharing. I also suffer from an autoimmune disease that causes chronic inflammation to my bowels and all sorts of food intolerances. Many times I feel myself tested to the extreme. No answer yet, but I will keep trustimg Him. Thank you Lord for your tender mercies.h
ReplyDeleteI believe you my dear, but still i know there is much dimension of understanding to that mystery, its possible that we pray and not get healed many times. Paul wasn't bedfast, he was up on his feet preaching the gospel and exhorting the saints with letters, i believe if any pain uniquely for someone, it is for a deep reason, that will manifest in season later, howbeit He is nearer in times of pain and He's moved with the feeling of our infirmities and was in all points tempted like us, but yet without sin, James 1:3, II Corinthians 10:13, Hebrews 2:13 Paul said, He won't allow us to be tempted more than we can bear, and God knows our frailty, He remembers that we are dust, Psalm 103:14 and so such pains bring a deep refreshing dimensions of revelations to our spirit, such that when we are alleviated from our pains, we preach a deeper gospel of His love, I believe my dear, God is doing a great thing in these last days, and the greatest works are unfolded in deeper dimension of healing and restoration, restoring broken relationships, restoring family values, restoring His people, Ezekiel 37 is a revelation of that agenda. God seeks to raise an army who have had dealings with Him several and will be able to administer healing to the lost, bereaved and wounded, there is a greater wisdom God in our various experiences, a wise man once said, the broken are masters at mending
ReplyDeleteDearest Megan, Firstly I want to Thank You from the bottom of my heart for making the very brave decision to put up this blog spot with a wealth of detail about Jesus Christ our Saviour and your personal walk and struggles. When I logged on and read the first blog attached to the song, O Come, O Come Emmanuel, I thought I was reading aloud my own thoughts and story. I was amazed that even the language and words you used were my own. This is incredible and should be commended. There is real truth in your story and love to share with the World at large. I for one am so glad that you made that decision. My story is identical to yours Megan, except the name of my medical condition and the length of time I have been experiencing Chronic Pain in my body. Sincerely, I pray that you have overcome that situation you wrote so clearly about in 2012, it is now 2020, eight years later, that I am reading your story. If however, like me, you are still on your Pain Journey, I pray that our Hope and Faith in The Lord Jesus Christ, Will Keep Us going forward.
ReplyDelete