Monday, November 4, 2013

The Why of This Blog


Suffering is bearable if you can find meaning in it. Pain feels a little less like an attack and a little more like a challenge if you can see some reason for it. I've been looking for that "why" ever since I got sick with ulcerative colitis in 2007 and never got better. 

Why...? I kept wondering why. What was the purpose of all this pain and humiliation? All these upset plans of mine? What? To make me better person? Wasn't I humble enough? Didn't I depend on God enough? Did I think too much of my work, my looks, my skills, my life? To make me stronger? Cripes, I've never been weaker in all my life in every sense of the word. Was I so terrible at my career that God would rather I be locked in my bedroom unable to share His Word? Would I be such a horrible mother that God put this here to keep me from having a family? What was God trying to tell me???

I, I, I, I, me, me, me... It's funny how self-centered being trapped in your own body makes you. I admit it. It's hard to look past your own nose when you can't get out of your own bed. Well, I got out of my own bed, and it turns out my pain wasn't about me at all. It's about Christ. And it's about you. 
"For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested on our mortal flesh. So that death is at work in us, but life in you." (2 Corinthians 4:11-12)
If you really want someone to believe something, if their life truly depends on it, you don't stand on a soapbox and lecture. You get on your knees and you beg. The true rhetorical stance is on your knees, a wise man once told me and WOW, has the Lord ever brought me to mine. (Thank you, Charles, I shudder to think of living this life without that knowledge).

Consequently, when my Mayo Clinic Pain Rehab Bestie suggested that I start a blog, I couldn't say no. Although I am as hesitant as anyone to share my struggling for fear of some reprisal, I couldn't shake the reality that if by reading about death in me, life starts to work in you even a little, well... maybe that's a part of God's why to my pain. Selfishly enough, in you, my suffering has meaning. As far as fear of reprisal goes, my struggle--like my suffering--has very little to do with me.
"I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak." (Ephesians 6:20)
The Author


And so, to those of you struggling with chronic pain, physical or emotional, injury or grief, sickness or sadness, whether your back hurts or your heart, I find solace in pointing you to Christ in hopes that you, too, will find some solace there. "And hope does not put us to shame," (from Romans 5:5).

Click here for my first post: "Heal ME." and come back to When Suffering Doesn't Stop: Life With Chronic Pain on your difficult days to visit posts that include Scripture, art, music, and humor, and are dedicated to making the unbearable portions of life bearable through meaning in ChristDue to a drastic and stubborn decrease in my health in August 2014, I regret to report that I will not be posting anything new until (hopefully) Advent. The following is a rough outline of my posts by topic. Click on the topic that interests you to see articles, videos and devotionals on that subject. Thank you for your patience and prayers. 

15 comments:

  1. I only read your opening page and then shared it with my facebook friends. I have a dear friend, 36, that is suffering and my brother, 61, who will, too soon, lose his battle with cancer. Thank you for sharing and may God bless you richly.

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    1. Too young. Just plain too young. I'm sorry for the trouble of your loved ones. My prayers and thoughts are with you. You might also enjoy "Grasping at Hems" at http://life-incessant.blogspot.com/2012/11/grasping-at-hems.html, and the song "Blessings" at http://life-incessant.blogspot.com/2012/06/enigma-of-job.html

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  2. Megan,
    I typed out a long expansive comment for you but when it had me sign in it appears it was all lost. I as well as other friends through the years cured our IBS/Colitis/Ulcerative Colitis by taking the essential amino acid "L-Glutamine" first thing in the morning and last at night on an empty stomach as stomach acids destroy amino acids. At least 30 minutes in water before eating and at least 3 hours after eating. Within a week symptoms should subside. Within two weeks I went to just mornings or evenings, whichever was more suitable. After a month went to every other day and then just once or twice a week. It comes in powder form in containers about 12 ounces each. I used one tsp mixed in water. You can buy it from your local health food store or online. I have not known it to be unsuccessful for anyone I have recommended it to as L-Glutamine is essential for the health of your digestive tract lining. I am a Christian and thank God for finding this information years ago. After 20 unbearable years suffering with IBS/Colitis/Ulcerative colitis, I am no longer bothered. God Bless you, Gary S.

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    1. I go through cycles of wanting to try everything and not wanting to try anything, you know? I am currently in a "try anything to be a better mom" mood, and this sounds so easy, I will actually give it a try. Of course, we all know that this disease is so finicky and personalized, what is good for the goose isn't necessarily good for the gander, it sounds like it's worth a shot for my overall health if not for a complete cure. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. I pray your good health continues in infinitum :)

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  3. Let me know how it works out for you Megan. Even thought you are right that we are all different and respond to different protocols and approaches, this is the universal remedy for everyone with digestive tract disorders as L-Glutamine supports the health and healing of the lining that is broken down in some way with these disorders. My distant cousin suffered terrible bouts every morning and had great difficulty traveling or making even the closest of future plans. I gave him a container of mine with about two weeks of powder left in it to get started while he looked for it himself and he called me in three days to proclaim that he had had his first normal morning in decades! Now I can't promise results that quick but it isn't a far stretch to see healing within a week or two. I learned about this from an old Chinese doctor that had practiced in Europe. He said that the United Kingdom citizens had rampant digestive disorders many decades ago until the gov't added L-Glutamine to it's list of medicines both natural and synthetic approved for their socialized medicine usage. Since that he said that most of those issues disappeared.
    You can contact me by e-mail to let me know how you are doing at: weldon@earthlink.net

    Blessings in Christ, Gary

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  4. I am a Pentecostal, and i met a 39 yr old in 2013, and she had a broken toe (was on crutches), had bipolar disorder, jetlag all the time, anemia, tooth problems, etc, she didn't tell me all. She is a catholic theologian, and i loved her, somehow i was able to talk to her about healing, and ministered to her through the scriptures, prayers and from my spirit, and she really got healed to a stage, she no longer uses crutches, and mentally becoming okay, and then when we met again in 2015, after a while of separation, she felt i could marry her, but i was not led to, and she got bitter because i said NO to marriage, that we can't be friends, i am 12 yrs younger, and after much prayers, i was still not led to say Yes, she got so angry that she called me a liar, full of deception and wanted to take advantage for her, and it hurts me anytime i think about this, what have i done wrong? what am i suppose to do? though she said i should never contact her again, i feel very bad about this, is there anything i can do?

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    1. I am sorry for your pain, and I'm not a relationship counselor, but I'd be wary of any "healing" that takes place on a stage. God can work in any and all ways and answer our prayers in all circumstances, but He doesn't seem the type to perform tricks on cue. I'm left to wonder who was doing the deceiving. Still, it seems your friend has been misled, for whatever the reason, into believing your relationship with her was romantic. If you have not done anything to give her the impression that you wanted to be more than friends, then the idea is in her own heart and perhaps she isn't mentally healed, or perhaps she is just wishful. In any case, I think the kindest thing to do is to keep praying for her: you are not the one for her, and that's okay because God has a plan for her and for you. Marriage is a gift from God for some, but none of us will be married at the Resurrection (Matt. 22:30). If she wants no more contact, then it is best to honor her request and avoid any further confusion on her part and give her the freedom to move on and explore other possibilities in her life.

      You can't be responsible for her happiness or unhappiness. Trust God in this case, not your own words or actions. Ask Him to open her heart, to stomp out any bitterness she has towards you and others, and to bring her every kind of happiness as He sees fit. Trust God to also heal you from your feelings of responsibility and ask Him to help you move on as well and bring you peace of mind. If you have sinned against her, you are sorry and Christ has died for that. Leave Him to make repairs where necessary. (Philippians 4:4-9).

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  5. You're such a sweetheart Megan, thank you so much, i think i made some terrible impressions too, am not perfect, and i have asked for mercy, how it feels so good to pour out my heart to someone who understands, you can't imagine the relief, but with your counsel now, i can move on now, and still continue in my prayers... thank you

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  6. Keep trusting in our wonderful loving God, who is all powerful, all present and all knowing...

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  7. Is there a copyright on the "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen - Traditional Choir" recording? I would love to make a remix on it and put it on a cd which will be sold digitally :-)

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  8. My wife, Tuula, and I retired to her native country Finland in 2012. She died 28 Feb. 2015 from Amyloidosis, a rare and fatal disease. At her funeral in Finland the hymn Finlandia was played and at a subsequent memorial service in the U.S. the hymn Be Still My Soul was part of the service. I remain in Finland where this hymn, the land, and the memory of my wife keep me grounded.

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    1. I am so sorry for the loss of your wife and for her suffering. A beautiful circle was made complete with Tuula's passing: your home and God shared Sibelius' breathtaking piece of music while the world said goodbye to her and heaven said hello. That's pretty amazing.

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