I. feel. awful.
It's horrible and yet morbidly interesting to watch myself go from a moderately reasonable person to a person who has to work very very hard to act even a little bit reasonable. I see myself being unreasonable, and like a car wreck, I can neither stop it nor look away. A spider on the floor elicits a shriek for my husband to come running as opposed the usual cringe and semi-frantic quest for a shoe. The washer going off balance triples my already-speedy heart rate, a disturbing news story causes me to obsess for days, and sleep? Peh. Not without liberal doses of ativan, which of course carries it's own compounding list of side effects. All of this leaves me to wonder just who the h*** am I, anyway?
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8Things often happen make it glaringly obvious that I cannot, indeed should not, believe in myself. If something as little as a pill a day can change who I am, or at least who I thought I was, what is there to believe in? But thankfully I am not called to believe in myself. Sure, it's our current culture's battle cry, but the only One who matters shares a different mantra with us: "Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in Me." Whew. What a relief because today, I am making absolutely no sense.
Suggested verse to repeat if it's a difficult day is from John 14:1
PRC buddies, remember to breathe!
"Believe in God; -------> 5 count inhale
believe also in Me." -------> 5 count exhale