Tuesday, July 10, 2012

One Thing I Do

"BUT one thing I do
ForGettinwhat lies
ForwarD to what LIES ahead,
I Press on Toward the goal
for the prize of the upward CALL
OF God in Christ JESUS." 
(Philippians 3:13b-14)

Do you ever have those days when you're hit with everything you've done wrong? Everything wrong that was ever done to you? When you can't shake that one terrible memory--or any of the hundreds--the thought of that one mistake you or others are still feeling the consequences of? Everything you thought was helping wasn't, everything you thought was going well is nothing but a hot mess and so on.... I do. Lord, how I do.

Positive thinking is hard on those days. Getting out of bed, or to bed in my case, is hard. I can't turn the bad thought off, and I can't think up my own happy thoughts to lull me to slumber: memories of my mistakes are just too strong. So, I focus on what IS right and pray something to this effect:
Thank You, Jesus, for dying for everything I did, am doing, and will do wrong, and everything wrong that's ever been done to me. Thank You, Holy Spirit, for helping me do at least some things right and bringing peace to sleep at night. And thank You, Father, for loving me, your silly daughter-who-can-do-no-right, enough that my baptism washes every kind of wrong away.
Maybe tonight I'll sleep some. And if not, well, that's okay too. God refuses to dwell on my mistakes, and so do I. One thing I do? I press on.

Suggested verse to repeat if it's a difficult day is derived from Philippians 3:13-14
PRC buddies, remember to breathe!
"Forgetting what lies behind -------> 5 count inhale
I press on." -------> 5 count exhale

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